Cannibal Tattoo

Tribal tattoos have been around for thousands of years and they range from very different styles and meanings depending on where you go and which tribes you encounter or study.  I myself have spent a decent amount of time looking into the different meanings of different traditional types of tattoos, but it was only today that I actually encountered a tattoo that signifies that its bearer is a cannibal.  Yes, you read that correctly – a tattoo that signifies that its bearer is indeed the type of person who eats human flesh, aka a cannibal.

How do I know this?  Well, unfortunately, there has been a cannibal attack on the French Polynesia island of Nuku Hiva and it has been revealed that the man suspected of the attack has a tattoo of the Kaioi tribe below his left shoulder.  31-year-old Henri Haiti had acted as a guide for 40-year-old German traveller Stefan Rami, taking him into the jungle to hunt for goats.  Haiti is a guide, registered with the local authorities.  But Rami never returned from the goat hunt and his charred remains were later found at a campfire site by authorities.

‘Fears that outdoor fanatic Mr Ramin had been cooked and devoured erupted after his charred remains were found on a campfire on Nuku Hiva following a goat hunt.
Although locals described their shock at the island being linked to cannibalism, a picture of Haiti revealed that he sports a tattoo of a Kaioi warrior on his left shoulder.’

This story is just plain crazy and at present time, Haiti remains on the run.  Locals claim that there would not be any cannibals on their island and that such a thing has long since gone out of fashion.  Yet it’s difficult to deny that cannibalism is indeed a possibility given Haiti’s tattoo, signifying his connection to the Kaioi people.  I guess it’s true that some tattoos are more dangerous than others.  I would recommend not getting too close to anyone who has a tattoo like Haiti’s and my sincere condolences go out to the family of Stefan Rami.

Bad Call

Right, okay, back once again to the topic of bad tattoos.  I’m not sure why I’ve been thinking about this lately, but fortunately, there is no shortage of news out there on exactly this topic.  The most recent example of a bad tattoo is courtesy of 22-year-old Brit John Forsyth.  So enamoured with the top 40 hit ‘Wake Me Up’ by Swedish pop star Avicii, he decided that it would be a great idea to get the lyrics to said song tattooed down his side.  According to Forsyth, the lyrics tell the story of his life.  Fair enough, maybe they do.  If it makes the guy happy, then great.  The sad truth of the matter is that the lyrics to ‘Wake Me Up’ are standard generic pop lyrics.  They undoubtedly tell the story of Forsyth’s life just as they do a billion other people.  There’s no real story here, it’s just a collection of vague platitudes that seem to really speak to you when you’re Forsyth’s age.  And that’s fine, but I mean at age 22 you haven’t really done anything.  So to take up the entire right side of your body with the story of your life is kind of a joke.  Again, it’s his body, I just wouldn’t recommend this sort of tattoo to anyone.

Incase you’re curious, here’s what John has to say about the tattoo and his reasons for getting it.

What prompted you to get a tattoo this large? Were you drunk when you had it done?

It was just a decision I made, I was sober when I had it done. I thought about it for a few weeks.

Do you have a girlfriend? What does she think about it?

I don’t have a girlfriend at the minute, but all the girls I know they all like it. They all think it’s sick.

Did it hurt a lot getting it done?

Yeah, most painful tattoo I’ve had. It took four and a half hours, all in one sitting.

What responses are you getting? Do you have any Twitter haters?

 I’ve had about over a thousand retweets. But yeah, I’ve gotten messages from people saying: It’s shit, eat shit and all that. Saying you’re gonna regret it. But I don’t care what they think, because I’m not going to regret it. It’s my choice.

What would you say to Avicii if you met him? Would you show him the tattoo?

Obviously I’d show him. I’d probably ask him if I could have a picture with him. Maybe offer a beer. Just be like I am with anyone I first met when I’m doing my job. How’s it going, what’s your name and all that. Well, obviously I know his name…

Someone on Twitter said some words are misspelled. Is that the case?

Yeah, actually there are a couple of words that are misspelled. But I’m going to get that sorted out. It’s cause it was such a big piece. In “caught” it hasn’t got the line going through the “t”. It’s a five minute job.

Any wise words for the people out there?

Everyone should just do what they want. Live life to the most every day. Literally I just do what I want everyday. I don’t think about what could happen in ten years time, because I don’t know if I’ll be here. I live life to the max. Most nights of the week I go out and get completely off my ass. It’s part of the job. Everyone that works here gets drunk every night. It’s a lifestyle.

And there you have it.  If you’ve never heard the song in question, check it out below.

Oh and FYI, John?  Getting drunk every night isn’t “a lifestyle”.  It’s called being 22.