Guard Yer Goods

Though I’ve read time and time again that tattooists have not been affected by the current economic downturn, I still have a hard time believing it.  Even if it were 100% true, the fact of the matter remains that economies around the world are turning to crap and people everywhere are starting to really feel the sting of it all in some way or another.  So maybe tattooists themselves aren’t feeling too much of an effect of the crummy economic times, but it seems like someone in Houston, Texas either can’t afford to buy their own equipment or has just realised that there is easy money in pawning off stolen tattoo gear.  Whatever the truth is, it ain’t good either way.

In July, Cynthia Courtney’s small shop on the East Freeway was ransacked. Thieves ran off with $18,000 worth of tattoo equipment.

Just last weekend, two tattoo shops were targeted. Rene Garcia, owner of Big City Tattoos in Southeast Houston, reported the theft of $3,000 worth of machines and supplies. Another shop on Westheimer also reported a burglary. The two separate surveillance cameras show a car of similar style leaving the scene of both crimes.

All I can say is that I hope the tattooists who were ripped off have insurance.  That is so essential to all tattooists who run their own studios that I can’t emphasise it any more than I already have again and again on this blog.  INSURANCE!  And, if these artists don’t have insurance, then I really feel for them.  I guess all that can come out of this is a stern warning to all other tattooists in the Houston area to batten down the hatches and guard your gear.  If you don’t have insurance and you have a tattoo studio in the Houston area, do whatever you can to make sure your stuff stays safe.  Good luck!

Cannibal Tattoo

Tribal tattoos have been around for thousands of years and they range from very different styles and meanings depending on where you go and which tribes you encounter or study.  I myself have spent a decent amount of time looking into the different meanings of different traditional types of tattoos, but it was only today that I actually encountered a tattoo that signifies that its bearer is a cannibal.  Yes, you read that correctly – a tattoo that signifies that its bearer is indeed the type of person who eats human flesh, aka a cannibal.

How do I know this?  Well, unfortunately, there has been a cannibal attack on the French Polynesia island of Nuku Hiva and it has been revealed that the man suspected of the attack has a tattoo of the Kaioi tribe below his left shoulder.  31-year-old Henri Haiti had acted as a guide for 40-year-old German traveller Stefan Rami, taking him into the jungle to hunt for goats.  Haiti is a guide, registered with the local authorities.  But Rami never returned from the goat hunt and his charred remains were later found at a campfire site by authorities.

‘Fears that outdoor fanatic Mr Ramin had been cooked and devoured erupted after his charred remains were found on a campfire on Nuku Hiva following a goat hunt.
Although locals described their shock at the island being linked to cannibalism, a picture of Haiti revealed that he sports a tattoo of a Kaioi warrior on his left shoulder.’

This story is just plain crazy and at present time, Haiti remains on the run.  Locals claim that there would not be any cannibals on their island and that such a thing has long since gone out of fashion.  Yet it’s difficult to deny that cannibalism is indeed a possibility given Haiti’s tattoo, signifying his connection to the Kaioi people.  I guess it’s true that some tattoos are more dangerous than others.  I would recommend not getting too close to anyone who has a tattoo like Haiti’s and my sincere condolences go out to the family of Stefan Rami.

Bad Call

Right, okay, back once again to the topic of bad tattoos.  I’m not sure why I’ve been thinking about this lately, but fortunately, there is no shortage of news out there on exactly this topic.  The most recent example of a bad tattoo is courtesy of 22-year-old Brit John Forsyth.  So enamoured with the top 40 hit ‘Wake Me Up’ by Swedish pop star Avicii, he decided that it would be a great idea to get the lyrics to said song tattooed down his side.  According to Forsyth, the lyrics tell the story of his life.  Fair enough, maybe they do.  If it makes the guy happy, then great.  The sad truth of the matter is that the lyrics to ‘Wake Me Up’ are standard generic pop lyrics.  They undoubtedly tell the story of Forsyth’s life just as they do a billion other people.  There’s no real story here, it’s just a collection of vague platitudes that seem to really speak to you when you’re Forsyth’s age.  And that’s fine, but I mean at age 22 you haven’t really done anything.  So to take up the entire right side of your body with the story of your life is kind of a joke.  Again, it’s his body, I just wouldn’t recommend this sort of tattoo to anyone.

Incase you’re curious, here’s what John has to say about the tattoo and his reasons for getting it.

What prompted you to get a tattoo this large? Were you drunk when you had it done?

It was just a decision I made, I was sober when I had it done. I thought about it for a few weeks.

Do you have a girlfriend? What does she think about it?

I don’t have a girlfriend at the minute, but all the girls I know they all like it. They all think it’s sick.

Did it hurt a lot getting it done?

Yeah, most painful tattoo I’ve had. It took four and a half hours, all in one sitting.

What responses are you getting? Do you have any Twitter haters?

 I’ve had about over a thousand retweets. But yeah, I’ve gotten messages from people saying: It’s shit, eat shit and all that. Saying you’re gonna regret it. But I don’t care what they think, because I’m not going to regret it. It’s my choice.

What would you say to Avicii if you met him? Would you show him the tattoo?

Obviously I’d show him. I’d probably ask him if I could have a picture with him. Maybe offer a beer. Just be like I am with anyone I first met when I’m doing my job. How’s it going, what’s your name and all that. Well, obviously I know his name…

Someone on Twitter said some words are misspelled. Is that the case?

Yeah, actually there are a couple of words that are misspelled. But I’m going to get that sorted out. It’s cause it was such a big piece. In “caught” it hasn’t got the line going through the “t”. It’s a five minute job.

Any wise words for the people out there?

Everyone should just do what they want. Live life to the most every day. Literally I just do what I want everyday. I don’t think about what could happen in ten years time, because I don’t know if I’ll be here. I live life to the max. Most nights of the week I go out and get completely off my ass. It’s part of the job. Everyone that works here gets drunk every night. It’s a lifestyle.

And there you have it.  If you’ve never heard the song in question, check it out below.

Oh and FYI, John?  Getting drunk every night isn’t “a lifestyle”.  It’s called being 22. 

Wrong Reality

I don’t know why I’m doing this, I promise I’m not trying to piss you guys off.  I think it’s probably because the second that I saw this, I was more than a little disgusted.  I can’t take this sort of pain alone, so I’m passing it off on all of you.  This video is an insult to anyone who has ever called themselves or been called an artist.  Giving away their secrets?  No honey, that’s not why they’re mad at you.  They’re mad at you because you’re reducing an art form to paint by numbers and claiming that yours is an accurate depiction of a tattoo artist’s creative process.  And the only reason why you’re doing it is because you know you can make money off it.  Not art.  Not an artist.  And you know what?  I’ll go as far as arguing that this isn’t tattoo – at least not any concept of it that I care to acknowledge.

Every Cloud

There’s no question that one of the most popular tattoos at present time is the neck tattoo.  The neck tattoo has a lengthy history – one that used to signify a massive step for its bearer.  The neck tattoo was the icing on the cake, the tattoo that only the truly committed and hardcore got.  It used to be that if you had a neck tattoo, you were either a tattooist, in a band or just a badass motherfucker.

Today, while there are still plenty of old hardcores out there with the better parts of their necks covered, neck tattoos are becoming increasingly associated with hipsters.  The badass neck tattoo has been replaced by the cutesy neck tattoo and the otherwise completely non-threatening neck tattoo.  It’s definitely a sore point (no pun intended) for many, but if you think seeing a latte sucking, fixie riding, ironic moustache sporting, neck tattooed, hipster D-bag is irritating, I’ve got news for you, because this takes the cake:

Although only in patent form (which apparently means that the odds of it actually happening are slim at best), Google’s outside noise dampening/lie detecting electronic throat tattoo makes dilettante hipsters look like a welcome relief.  The explanation for it isn’t really all that clear, but it’s more than enough to tell me that it could be quite possibly one of the worst ideas ever.

”Communication can be reasonably improved” by the application of an electronic throat tattoo, which could dampen “acoustic noise.”
But it’s not just a noise-canceling microphone for your telephone! The tattoo can do more. It can have a display that lights up under certain conditions.
And the other kind of noise that gets introduced into conversations is lies! Bad data. So, the electronic skin tattoo can detect those, too.
“Optionally, the electronic skin tattoo can further include a galvanic skin response detector to detect skin resistance of a user,” the patent reads. “It is contemplated that a user that may be nervous or engaging in speaking falsehoods may exhibit different galvanic skin response than a more confident, truth telling individual.”‘

So let’s recap here: we’ve got a possible product that can “dampen” acoustic noise while you do your talking on the phone, but also indicate whether or not you’re telling lies, all while resting stylishly on your neck in the form of a “tattoo”.  Sounds perfect.  I can sincerely say that I hope this product never, ever, ever becomes a reality.  I would rather see a billion and one cupcake/unicorn/teddy bear/ironic neck tattoos on an entire army’s worth of hipsters before I ever have to stomach the reality of even one person wearing this piece of garbage.

Sometimes it takes the possibility of something horrible to make you realise that things currently aren’t that bad.

It’s A Tattoo

Controversy.  Time and time again, it seems like tattoo is always followed by some sort of controversy.  One would think that at this point in human existence, given the immense rise in popularity of tattoo and the common place nature it all, that tattoo would be about as controversial a topic as choosing one soft drink brand over another.  No way, Jose.  Controversy is rife in the ye ole world of permanent ink.  When you think about it, it’s quite amazing that human beings adorned with ink could still cause any sort of uproar at all, given the lengthy history of tattoo.  After all, it’s not like we’ve only just learned of this art form and it’s not like any of us are seeing it for the first time.  Whether it’s through henna, images in magazines, temporary tattoos that accompany pieces of bubble gum or simply doodling on arms and legs with a marker we are all exposed to tattoo from a very early age and consistently throughout our lives.

So does who gets what tattoo and where have anything to do with us?  Or is it simply a matter of the media  relentlessly telling us that something is shocking and/or offensive?  That is, is controversy surrounding tattoo ever really a controversy at all?

In my opinion?  No.  Not at all.  The most recent example of non-controversy in the world of tattoo is the latest tattoo inked onto Zayn Malik, a singer from the UK boy band One Direction.  The 20 year-old teen idol recently had a six-shooter tattooed along his ribcage, to give the gun the holstered at the side look.  It’s a tattoo that many, many people have, yet somehow given that it’s on a celebrity, many are labelling it a controversial act.

‘Ray Nelson, president of the Guitars Not Guns organization, tells Britain’s Daily Mirror newspaper, “It is a shame that anyone would think it makes you look cool if you get a gun tattoo. Promoting guns in fashion could lead to gun violence and we certainly don’t need any more of that.”‘

Okay.  First off?  No.  Absolutely, positively, 100% NO.  Malik isn’t promoting guns.  He doesn’t have an agenda.  He got a tattoo of a gun on his body.  That doesn’t mean that he shoots guns, own guns or wants others to buy weapons and brandish them about in shopping malls, high schools or movie theatres.  Let’s get a bit of perspective here, alright?  Calm it down.

Second, if we’re really going to be worried about the impact weapons have on the delicate minds of children and teens, we should be especially concerned about their exposure to the news and to war and toward encouraging them to join the military.  They should be safeguarded from violent video games, films and any forms of music that mention guns or weapons of any sort.  Books are dangerous too.  They shouldn’t be allowed to read any books that mention guns or that have characters who use or carry guns.  It’s probably also a good idea to scrub out the word “gun” from any dictionaries that teens may have access to.  Even this blog post should probably come with some sort of warning, so if you’re a teenager who happens to be reading this, stop right now.  I don’t want you thinking about guns, ever.

Ridiculous, right?  Of course it is.  The guy wants a tattoo of a gun, the guy gets a tattoo of gun.  The entire incident carries as much weight as we give it.  So let’s all agree to do this: let’s not give it any weight at all.  Let’s just chalk it up to what it is – yet another celebrity getting yet another tattoo.  It’s absolutely harmless.  So Ray Nelson and all the media and anyone else who has a problem with this tattoo, I have one message for you: calm down.  It’s a tattoo.

In Defence of the Tattooed

Dear Mr Henry:

Hello, my name is Mike Jones and I write for the Tattoo Blog website.  I’ve recently read your op-ed piece Is It Just Me With A Tattoo Taboo?, at the Wales Online website and I have to say that I’m more than a little disappointed.  As someone who has written rather extensively on tattoo (both online and in print), I’ve read more than my fair share of anti-tattoo op-eds.  They never cease to intrigue me, for the simple reason that I’ve never quite been able to grasp the reasoning behind the argument that tattoos aren’t good for people, society and the status-quo in general.  I cannot for the life of me comprehend why anyone cares what anyone else does with their body.  That being said, your dislike of tattoos isn’t the reason why I was disappointed with your piece.  After all, you are entitled to your own opinion of tattoo just as I am entitled to be tattooed should I choose to do so.  The reason for my disappointment, Mr Henry, is that I’ve grown tired of the trite and frankly just plain dull arguments employed against tattoo.  Perhaps foolishly, I still cling to the hope that one day when I read an anti-tattoo op-ed it will surprise me with an all new argument against the art of tattoo that will really make me think about this particular stance in a new and far more interesting light.

The bulk of your piece (and argument) centres around Carl McCoid, a 40 year-old man who recently had a large tattoo of pop-star Miley Cyrus done.  You wield this tawdry fact as though it were entirely representative of the 29% of young adults in the UK who are tattooed.  I’d be more than willing to wager that Carl McCoid’s tattoo is not at all typical of the sort of tattoos found on young adults.  The very reason that you or any other media source are reporting on it is precisely because it’s a blatantly unusual choice of tattoo for a 40 year-old man.  By focussing the issue of tattoo on this rather frivolous and just plain creepy example, you pigeonhole the tattooed into an association of socially irresponsible fools who are incapable of making sound decisions as functioning adults.

Moving along, you point to the difficulty in finding suitable work in this troubled economy and that employers’ attitudes toward tattoos remains overwhelmingly negative.  What exactly are we to do with this piece of information, Mr Henry?  Are we to assume (as you apparently do) that the unemployed are all tattooed?  Aside from being an archaic theory based entirely on conjecture, I’ll also remind you that tattoos are not cheap and that if one plans to get tattooed, one is most likely employed.  You reference several celebrities and their seemingly endless collections of tattoos.  Did it occur to you that the reason celebrities have so many tattoos is because they can afford them?  Sure, the argument can be made that anyone can have a friend or grimy acquaintance give them a tattoo in a basement somewhere with equipment bought off the internet.  At the same turn, the argument could also be made that anyone is capable of making dirt cheap alcohol in their home if they so desired.  The fact that it’s possible does in no way mean that the majority of people who enjoy a tipple now and again are ladling it directly from their bathtubs.   Or are you suggesting that those who are unemployed will remain unemployed if they happen to be tattooed?  University degrees and technical savvy be damned should anyone be foolish enough to commit the mortal sin of permanently imbedding ink into their own flesh, I guess.

You also wonder if Mr McCoid will still feel the same way about his Miley Cyrus tattoo when he enters into his senior years.  Ah yes, the good old Tattoos-Will-Look-Terrible-When-You-Age argument.  This argument has most likely existed just as long as tattoo itself has.  It’s a weak and entirely absurdist point of view that somehow has managed to play itself off as a legitimate gripe for decades.  Let me ask you this, Mr Henry: when was the last time that you heard anyone, anywhere condemn or criticise the stylistic choices of the elderly?  Better still, when was the last time that you heard anyone, anywhere condemn the elderly – full stop?  Rarely, if ever, does it happen.  My goodness, even Nazi war criminals are spared prison terms due to their advanced age.  Society in general tends to utterly ignore the actions and choices made by the elderly within their lifetimes, let alone their personal style.  To argue that a tattoo will bring regret to one’s geriatric years is a moot point if ever there was one.  None of us can say with certainty that we’ll be here tomorrow, let alone 30, 40 or 50 years down the line.

Obviously, tattoo regret exists and is very real for some people.  But not all people are frivolous in their decision making process when it comes to getting tattooed.  That concept in itself seems to continually escape critics of tattoo such as yourself.  Belief in such a concept is symptomatic of a narrow frame of reference.  Tattoo can help people to gain closure on the death of a loved one, immortalise pivotal moments in their lives or even to start over, as is the case with some breast cancer survivors who use tattoo as a means to cover up mastectomy scars and regain their confidence.

The point, Mr Henry, is that you and I both might agree that Carl McCoid’s Miley Cyrus tattoo is ridiculous.  And we both might be right. But your assumption that people who get tattooed do so because they are unhappy or dissatisfied with the way they look is wholly naive at best and entirely ignorant at worst.  No one can claim to fully comprehend the reasoning behind anyone’s tattoo except the person who has chosen that particular tattoo.  Sometimes that decision turns to regret three or four years down the road, yes.  But the fact remains that people will continue to get tattooed.  It isn’t going to go away.  If a tattoo makes someone happy for even 3 or 4 years – regardless of how moronic you or I might find it to be, then who are we to judge?  If there’s one thing this world needs it’s an increase in happy people.  Whether a tattoo brings that happiness for a short or lengthy period of time is irrelevant.  You would do well to take the time and look into tattoo more, there’s an entire world out there of stunning artistic achievement.  Perhaps then you’d see more than just some foolish trend doodled on to the bodies of the people around you.